Fear Factor
We have hundreds of decisions we make every day. Some of them are small, like what to eat for breakfast or what color shirt to wear. Some are big, like should I buy this house or that one, or which form of childcare should I pick for my child. Or maybe it’s decisions for your church, such as should I say this from the pulpit or not, or what programs should end and what programs should start? And it made me start wondering, what drives these decisions? How do we know what’s “right”?
Remember the show, Fear Factor? (If you want a refresher of the show, click here. If you get grossed out easily, just skip it…). What I remember the most about the show is the premise of inviting people to do all sorts of zany things, like eat roasted bugs or climb into a box with live snakes. All sorts of things that give me the heebie-jeebies. If you had asked me to do most of those things, I would have said no way! So what motivated them to do things in the face of their fear?
When it comes to decisions, I realized that so many of our choices are not because we think that is the best choice. It’s because we are fearful of making the wrong choice or fearful of the other option. How many of our decisions are made as a reaction to fear?
Our lives seem to be centered around fear. Whether it is things we fear or things others tell us we should fear.
Should you vote for this person? Yes, because imagine what would happen if the other person won.
Should you follow Jesus? Yes, because it helps you avoid hell.
Should I go on renewal leave? No, because what if they realize they don’t need me anymore.
Should I marry this person? Yes, because what if I’m alone forever.
Should I take the new job opportunity? No, because what if the new job doesn’t live up to my current job and at least I know what to expect now.
We do a lot of avoiding due to fear. And often we let fear drive our decisions.
One of the conversations we avoid due to fear is talking about is suicide. September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. It’s time for us to stop avoiding the topic due to fear. Sometimes we fear that if we bring it up with someone that we increase their chances of suicide. But did you know that’s completely false? The question, “Are you thinking about killing yourself?” is not an easy question, but it might be the first step in aiding someone to seek help.
In Georgia, there were 1568 deaths by suicide in 2018. That’s 4 each day. Or 1 every 6 hours. In June 2020 (only a few months into the pandemic), serious thoughts of suicide (also known as suicidal ideation) were at an all-time high of 11.9% of those surveyed (over 11,000 people surveyed). People felt hopeless and out of options. If you want some helpful places to start bringing the conversation about suicide to light, share this infographic. (For additional information, click here.)
One of the key steps to help prevent someone from dying by suicide is simply to ask them if they’re thinking about it. And if you don’t know how to start that conversation, look into training with Mental health First Aid. It’s a great resource to learn about mental illness and suicide prevention. Also, check out a virtual summit being offered on Thursday (link in recommendations of the month).
Another one of the conversations we avoid facing is our own need for rest and renewal. Pastors are burning out left and right. And yet, so many among us are afraid to stop working so hard or afraid to create more boundaries. What are you afraid will happen if you rest and take care of yourself? That people won’t need you anymore? That you’ll be replaceable? Or that you might realize that there are some serious ways of living you would have to change. Perhaps you might even see that you have to look internally and to God for validation instead of the praise and appreciation of the world around you.
So this comes back to my big question: How are you letting fear drive your decisions and actions today? How is it keeping you from taking care of yourself or others well?
I hope that you can take some time to reflect on these questions – to identify when your decisions are made because you’re running from something or because you’re running towards something?
Grateful for you,
Lindsay
Graphic provided by NAMI
